GRABBERS C
Ireland Great Britain (94 mi)
2012 ‘Scope d: Jon
Wright Official site
A riff on the cheap 50’s B-movie sci-fi flicks like THE BLOB
(1958), or the tongue-in-cheek 70’s revisionist ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES!
(1978), though compared to that, a $6.5 million dollar budget for a movie like
this must seem like a blockbuster budget, as this is a movie, first and
foremost, about having low expectations.
If this had been made by a high school student, they would be commended
for succeeding in referencing the era of the 50’s, while also making something
ridiculously absurd, where the exaggerated Irish stereotypes might be forgiven
due to youth and inexperience. But for
two fully grown Irishmen, written by Kevin Lehane from Cork and directed by
Belfast born Jon Wright, you’d think they’d have had their fill of Irish
stereotypes. Apparently not, as they’re
instead using their familiarity to portray an array of local drunkards, a
quirky small town community, a church filled with ardent non-believers, dysfunctional
police, and a venerable old drunken fisherman with a tall tale that nobody
believes, like spinning a drunken fable into a mythical yarn, and while it’s
supposed to be goofy fun, it ends up being tedious and overly repetitive,
little more than mindless entertainment for the evening, a far cry from the
beauty and depth of say John Sayles’ THE SECRET OF ROAN INISH (1994), which
really has the fairy tale feel of local Irish legend. This movie, on the other hand, is all about
using stereotypes and cliché’s, reinforcing throughout that the Irish really
love their whisky, getting everyone in town stinking drunk, thinking it’s all
jolly good fun, continually paying homage to movies from the past, but the
sheer thoughtlessness of much of this film is overwhelming. Even the opening scene where three fishermen
at sea witness a flash of light coming from outer space, their response plays
out as dumb, dumber, and dumbest, attacked by blood sucking aliens, setting the
tone for what follows.
Set in Erin Island, a sleepy fishing village near the coast
of Ireland, the town is so small there are only two policemen, and while the
chief is away on a two-week trip, they bring in a temporary cop from Dublin,
Lisa Nolan (Ruth Bradley) a by-the-numbers rookie who feels that without any
real crime to speak of this should be an easy two-week holiday. Her local partner is Ciarán O’Shea (Richard
Coyle), a wildly alcoholic and buffoonish cop who can barely think or speak
straight, falling over himself at every turn, appearing to be little more than an
obnoxious lout. When a local fisherman
named Paddy (Lalor Roddy) claims he’s caught a mysterious sea creature in one
of his lobster cages, no one bats an eye, as he’s perhaps the most drunken man
in town, a guy who brings his own home brew “into” the bars to swig along with
the usual fare, but always has a ready smile plastered across his face. But after a group of dead whales wash onto
the beach, and the fishermen are reported missing, the police think maybe
they’ll take a look, bringing along a crack scientist, Adam Smith (Russell
Tovey). When the female blood sucker
suddenly attaches itself to Paddy’s face, an homage to Ridley Scott’s ALIEN
(1979), it quickly spits it out in disgust, leaving a trail of slime, where the
booze-guzzling cop figures out it must be the alcohol in his blood. As there’s a male lurking out there searching
for the female, they figure the only way to save the town from impending
disaster is to get the entire town drunk, making them each toxic to the
creatures from outer space. While it may
sound brilliant, the technical expertise is lacking in creating a feel of
impending doom, where it’s nothing like John Carpenter’s THE FOG (1980). Adding to the mix, the town is attacked by a
barrage of baby aliens, a tribute to Joe Dante’s GREMLINS (1984), where brooms
and sticks and stomping feet seem to do the trick with the little critters,
while the giant creature is right out of James Cameron’s ALIENS (1986), where
in no time the town is under siege.
While the entire spectacle has a cheesy mid 80’s feel to it,
an era before the arrival of the quality CGI special effects that really took
hold in the mid 90’s with Pixar’s TOY STORY (1995), the story actually unfolds
through the initially chilly relationship between the two cops, where O’Shea,
threatened by her arrival, is so astonishingly drunk that Nolan sticks him in
the slammer to sleep it off. But when
they realize what they’re up against, a surreal invasion from outer space,
nothing makes more senses to this team of amateurs than to stomp the damn thing
to death, giving it a thorough beating, something of a defensive reaction to
getting slimed by the creature, where science hasn’t even a clue afterwards if
the critter is still dead or alive.
Despite the danger level, humans absurdly continue to put themselves at
risk while herding the local church parishioners into the tavern for an open
bar, oblivious to the danger lurking outside, where the director sends out baby
monsters to contend with while withholding a glimpse of the nasty creature
while the entire population proceeds to drink and party themselves into a state of oblivion. Meanwhile, the master plan is to get the
rookie cop filthy drunk along with everyone else while the actual drunkard cop
remains sober, like a designated driver, becoming the eyes and ears for the
town, like their gallant night watchman who’s expected to save the town against
the monster. This little twist allows
the thoroughly straight-laced Nolan, who’s never been drunk before, a chance to
let her hair down, where after plying her with alcohol, in no time she’s
confessing all her personal secrets.
This allows the two of them to actually develop some chemistry together,
where’s she’s the one now making a goddamned fool of herself while he has to
exercise personal restraint not to take advantage of her sudden sexual
promiscuity. Of course the sexually
charged moments are a cue for the appearance of the badass monster, where the
rest of the film is a showdown between a suddenly responsible and often
clueless O’Shea, with a ragingly drunk partner as his back up, while townsfolk
are mere foils against the evils deeds manifested by this mammoth blood-sucking
creature from outer space. The drunken
carousing gets pretty stale after awhile, yet it’s the predominate image
onscreen, where rather than a cleverly crafted horror film, this plays out more
like a neverending Irish wake, which the creative team behind the film
obviously thought would be hilarious.
While this creature feature is silly fun, it’s also stupid fun, never
really rising to anything beyond that.
Unfortunately, audiences are so deadened by what Hollywood throws at
them these days, and so starved for ideas, that this is what passes as creative
filmmaking.
